Twenties Answer: Question #5

Welcome to Twenties Answer! 
This is a new series that was inspired by Paul Angone and his 11 Questions That Every Twenty Something Needs to Answer! For the next several weeks, every Tuesday, I'm going to be answering these questions. Send me an email or comment below your answers if you're a twenty something. Or, if you are past your twenties, how would you answer the question or what would you have done differently back in your 20s. Us twenty somethings, we love advice! Will you join me? 


For more in this series: 
Q1 // Q2 // Q3 // Q4

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I think learning to love, learning how to love, and learning what love actually is, is one of the hardest and most complex things we will ever experience in life. Of course, I could be wrong. I know for me, and only at 24, love is something I don't understand completely. There are different forms of love, some of which I've experience and others I haven't (hello, singleness. looking at you). And there are two different ways in which we love, as Paul Angone has show us in today's question. 

Love: 

• Agape - love in a "spiritual" sense, general affection, selfless, it gives and expects nothing in return. 
• Eros - physical, passionate, intimate
• Phileo/Philila - "mental" love, affectionate, friendship, has give and take, loyalty to friends, family, and community

{here}

Ways To Love: 

• Love from our insecurities - demands from others, doesn't want to see others succed more than self, looks out for self
• Love from our strengths - gives to others, celebrates with others in their successes, looks out for others

{here}

If we are all lucky and blessed, maybe we will experience every type of love in our life. We will love and expect nothing in return, we will deeply know and love another person in marriage, and we will be surrounded by friends and family who make us laugh and love easily. But, as we know and may have already experienced, life is hard and people won't always be there. Friends come and go, people move across the country, BFFs don't always stay BFFs, marriages end. And it causes people to question whether they were really loved by the other. It's not just whether we love, but how we love. Are we loving from our insecurities or from our strengths? 

I love watching other people reach their dreams and seeing them succeed, I love celebrating with friends, and I always want the best for them. It sounds like I love from my strengths right? Well, maybe. But, honestly it's not always that way. See, I don't always give to others as I should. I don't always call, I don't always send mail, I forget Skype dates, and I may be late in remembering a birthday every now and then. My love for the people in my life isn't perfect and it never will be. 

There are times where I want to be the center of attention (even though that terrifies me. introvert here). There are times where just once, I want to be the one with good, awesome, amazing news that deserves to be celebrated. There are times where I get tired of reaching out and giving, but constantly receiving nothing in return. There are moments where I love from my insecurities and not my strengths. 

Friendship is hard. Intentional friendship is even harder. Being separated (distance wise) from my friends has challenged me to be a better friend. I ask my friends for specific ways that I can pray for them, I ask them how I can be a better friend for them. Friends and family are one of the greatest things we have been blessed with. And I want nothing more than to love them through my strengths. It's not easy to be selfless and to not expect anything in return (I'm not saying I'm there yet). But, friendship, and love, is more than just asking, "How are you?" It's asking the hard questions, it's getting to the root of the problem, it's being intentional. It's letting the people around you know that they are dearly loved. 

Do you love through your insecurities or your strengths? 
What are some ways we can intentionally love the people around us? 
How do your friends love you?


Comment below or send me an e-mail. 






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