God is not only the place that I will find ultimate rest, because He is rest, but He also rested Himself. So did Christ. If God and His son, who are holy and controlling of everything, even time, needed rest, I think that it is important for me to follow their lead on this as well. [image] After God was finished speaking the world into existence, He saw that the things He created were good. Then, He rested. I tend to rest because I am hungry, angry, lonely, or tired and I just need a break from things. I know that during these moments, I'm so weak and I just need to take a time-out from things and come back to them a little while later. God, however, rested not because He was weary, but because He was pleased. In six days, He created the earth and all that moves on it and He saw that it was good. It was all that He imagined it to be and He was pleased at how His creation turned out. So, He rested, in a celebratory way. He rested so that He could watch all that He made, to enjoy and celebrate what He had just done. Then, He sat aside this resting day and made it holy, commanding us to observe it. That day, where He rested to celebrate His creation, is now the day that we observe and praise Him for all that He made. God rested to enjoy His creation, we rest to enjoy the Creator. Christ, being both man and God, also rested in a couple of different ways. And since Jesus was also man, I'm thinking He may have gotten tired, not just physically, but also mentally and spiritually. There are stories in the Bible of Jesus sleeping (and being woken up and slightly annoyed, which is totally me in the mornings) and drawing away into quiet places. He would rest in people's homes after traveling, He would stop to eat a meal, and He would draw away from the disciples to be alone with His Father and pray. For me, those are three great examples of how to rest. Especially the last one. When I find myself getting angry or frustrated with people, or tired of being lonely, my first reaction is to shut down and not in the restful way! Instead of taking a moment to withdraw to a quiet place and pray, I voice my frustrations out loud to a friend or I ignore the situation in my stubbornness. Jesus didn't seclude Himself. Even when He was sleeping, the disciples were nearby, and although they couldn't always stay awake like He wanted them to, they were near. Jesus would enter houses for rest, while His friends would welcome in rest. Jesus tells us in His word that we are to come to Him when we are weary and burdened. His yoke is easy and burden is light. He is ready to help me carry whatever I have been attempting to drag alone. Jesus invites me to come into His presence and seek the rest that flows from Him. I welcome Him in, as I enjoy and praise God for the ultimate rest He gives.
Comments
Yesterday, I looked at a few different meanings of the word rest and how I was applying them to my life. Ultimately, peace of mind and spirit is the rest that I seek. Support is the rest I desire God to be. While I was reading the dictionary yesterday (I seriously did this a lot when I was younger), there was one definition that jumped out at me. To be at rest meant to be free from anxieties. I'm not exactly sure when anxiety started to creep into my life, but I think it started slowly and then came all at once. There was a span of eight months in college where I went through some pretty scary and terrifying things. Literally, within eight months I had experienced two life-changing, hopefully once-in-a-lifetime, events that I hope to never experience again. The fall of 2010 I was in a bad car accident with a college friend. Thankfully we walked away with just bruises and I had a small burn on my elbow. But, the other driver did not walk away...and our lives changed that rainy Sunday morning on a country highway. I walked away with memories that I will never forget and a slight fear of cars pulling into the road while I'm driving. I also walked away with a new sense of forgiveness that day. As we met the family of that dear man on that country highway and they hugged my friend and I as they assured us that nothing was our fault and they didn't want us to think otherwise. I didn't tell my parents the extent of the accident until a few days later after I had apparently been having some bad dreams in the middle of the night and my roommate encouraged me to finally talk. Painkillers, muscle relaxers, and the power of prayer filled the next weeks as I slowly watched bruises fade. Yet, I still don't like sitting in the passenger seat of cars very much. The spring of 2011 I witnessed a town I had grown to love get destroyed by a F-4 tornado. I will always remember that beautiful, blue-skied day turning into blackness as we lost power and all communication with our friends and families. I remember how my friends and I hunkered down on the bottom floor of my dorm building, hearing the wind roar and rush outside. And how almost an hour later we found a friend who simply said, "it's all gone." Besides cell service, internet, and power being gone for a few days, I didn't lose anything that day. The semester was cancelled, but I stayed in Tuscaloosa to help with clean-up and deliver food. Besides not taking finals that semester, I was able to pack up all my stuff and move home for the summer like normal. Yet, that city doesn't look the same. Not just because things are rebuilt in different places, or even the fact that it's just bigger now, it all changed that day in April. I didn't lose anything, yet, the memories flood back when I hear a tornado siren and it could be perfect summer day, but I will still look for my place of shelter when I walk into a new building or move into a new house. I drive everyday and I've been through plenty of thunderstorms and severe weather since those eight months a few years ago. But, anxiety still comes. I hate driving at night and in the rain, combine the two and I will change plans to stay home or wherever I may be. I pace the floor and watch radar maps intently when meteorologists say that things may get bad during the day. I get overwhelmed at the thought of the future and all the things I must do as an adult, but I also can't stop thinking about it and what I must be doing right now. I think about all the ways that I'm "behind" as a twenty-seven year old, but then remind myself that all paths are different. The same God may be directing us down our paths, but each one looks different. What a marvelous, mighty, and loving God to know us each so well, that He guides us differently as it is perfect for us. He knows the anxieties that I face, He knows the root problem of them all, and He knows all the moments that they will suddenly appear. My God also knows what it takes to overcome these anxieties. He knows the fears, the worries, and all the questions that come with them. And He shows me that He has the protection, the provision, the rest that I need. To be with Him, walking with Him, reading His Word, resting in Him is where I am free from anxiety. Next to knowing random pieces of trivia, I love knowing the definitions and meanings of words. Certain words can have different meanings or uses and when I know their different meanings, I better understand the word, but also how to use it. The word rest has some different meanings in the dictionary and then in the Bible, but there are some that are the same as well. From the dictionary, rest is... repose, sleep; specifically: a bodily state characterized by minimal function and metabolic activities | When it comes to this type of rest, I'm pretty good at it! The older I have gotten, the more that sleep means to me. I seriously wish we could take naps as adults and you bet I do on the weekends. There are some days where I come home from work and I absolutely need a nap, but I try to hold out for bedtime. When 10:30 pm nears, my body knows it and slowly starts shutting down on its own. Rest in this sense, I got it down and love it. a place for resting or lodging | The first three things I thought about when I saw this meaning were: rest areas, hotel rooms, and my comfy bed. I love a good road-trip, but sometimes I just need a driving break and the rest areas seem to come at just the right time. Rest areas near state borders are the coolest, because they may also be welcome centers where I can learn more about the area (see my love of trivia in the first sentence of this post) and tend to have the best bathrooms. If a road-trip happens to have a hotel stay involved, I really like it. A good hotel makes for a good trip, so I try to choose one with the best pillows (even though I bring my own on every trip) and near good places to eat. Lastly, I also think about my own comfy bed, because although I love road-trips, there is nothing like coming back to my own bed where I can starfish sleep, with all my own pillows, and sleep until my heart and body are content. peace of mind or spirit | This is the rest that I'm searching for, like I mentioned in the intro to this series. My mind is constantly on the go and that's not necessairily bad, but when I start to focus solely on one situation, without first praying to the Lord about it, my thoughts begin to snowball out of control. Soon I'm completely exhausted, not relaxed, and worrying about the future, instead of thinking about the day and the moment that the Lord has placed before me. Then, I let fear creep in and lies start to come about something, someone, or even myself, that if I'm not careful, I will start to believe. something used for support | When thinking about rest as something used for support, I think about a walking stick that I might use while hiking. I used a stick sometimes when I hiked in Tahoe. I have bad ankles, little coordination, and I'm not very graceful, so I needed all the help I could getting up some of those terrains. It gave me the support I needed while climbing around rocks or as I walked down a steep slope. When I got tired, I could take a break and lean on the stick while I paused and caught my breath. This is the rest that I desire God to be for me. I want Him to be my support up the mountains, but also as I walk down into the valleys. When I get tired and don't think I'll make it anymore that day, I want Him to be what I lean on as I pause and take a breath. His Word tells me that He is my rest and He is where I will find rest for my soul. The hope and confidence I need to keep going is found in Him. He is the first and the ultimate place I need to turn to for support, for rest. For the month of October, I'm writing about finding rest. Click here to read the first post and find links to all other posts in the series. "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1, NLT Danger can come in different forms, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. There are dangers of war, sickness, hate, our fears. Some of us experience one or two of these, while others experience them all. The battles I face daily may seem small in light of others, but spiritually, they are just as big. Whatever danger or battle stands before us, the thoughts of the enemy are just the same and he only has one intention: to pull us away from the shelter that protects us. The farther the enemy can pull us away from the shadow of the Almighty, the more he wins, and our small battles slowly snowball into messy wars. God never promised us that we would be free from danger or trouble and Jesus said that we would have troubles. Many in fact. But what God does promise is His protection and help in the middle of those dangers, troubles, and fears. I love Psalm 91, because it challenges me to trade in my fears for faith. When I dwell in the shelter of the Most High, when I daily abide with Christ, that is where I find protection and that is where I find rest. The shelters and shades I used for cover in the past are twigs easily snapped in high winds. God's shelter is a fortress and a shield. Daily - morning and evening - I need to seek this shelter. It's where I find strength and where I can peacefully rest. Psalm 91, HCSB "The one who lives under the protection of the Most High dwells in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” He Himself will deliver you from the hunter’s net, from the destructive plague. He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings. His faithfulness will be a protective shield. You will not fear the terror of the night, the arrow that flies by day, the plague that stalks in darkness, or the pestilence that ravages at noon. Though a thousand fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, the pestilence will not reach you. You will only see it with your eyes and witness the punishment of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord—my refuge, the Most High—your dwelling place, no harm will come to you; no plague will come near your tent. For He will give His angels orders concerning you, to protect you in all your ways. They will support you with their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the young lion and the serpent. Because he is lovingly devoted to Me, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows My name. When he calls out to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble. I will rescue him and give him honor. I will satisfy him with a long life and show him My salvation. Let Psalm 91 challenge you to trade your fears for faith. Make your dwelling place in the shadow of the Almighty and find strength and rest. Day 1 | Finding Rest (scroll down to read) Day 2 | Trading Fears For Faith Day 3 | A Place For Resting and Support Day 4 | Free From Anxiety Day 5 | Welcome In Rest Day 6 | Four Tips For Finding Rest Day 7 | Friday Is My Favorite Day 8 | Where Rest Is Waiting Day 9 | You Will Find Rest Day 10 | Rest To Worship Day 11 | Slowly and Peacefully Day 12 | Whispers Of My Name Day 13 | It Has To Be Day 14 | Stopped & DaySpring Gift Card Giveaway! Enter in by Oct. 28th! Day 15 | Looking Day 16 | Something Continual Rest is something that I think I've been seeking for awhile. I don't think of my life as super busy or rushing to get from one place to another and I don't even think about plans for the next weekend until it's actually arrived. I'm fairly good about giving my body the rest that it needs, because well, introvert. It's how I get my energy. The rest I'm seeking is rest for my mind and my soul. Although I'm not constantly on the go, I'm constantly thinking. Thinking about the future, wondering what steps I need to take, thinking about other options if the first one doesn't work out. All of my thinking eventually leads to worrying. And that is what I need rest from. Rest from worrying, rest from stressing, rest from the what-if, rest from the fears. The rest I seek will only be found in the One who gives true rest, the Lord. It's my prayer, that over these next 31 days, as I seek to find rest, that I may first come and abide with the Lord. I want to rest in His promises and know that they are true. I want to see that all I want and desire has already been gifted to me through Him. My mind and my soul have been seeking true rest and security. The things I have been asking for, praying for, searching for, and dreaming of can be found in Him. He is my companionship. He is my comfort. He is my security. The Lord alone is where I find all the rest I crave and desire. So, Lord, let the rest come and fall on me... For the next 31 days, I'm going to be writing on finding rest. Is this something you need as well? I would love for you to follow along and journey with me as I seek to rest in Him alone. Several weeks ago, I pre-ordered and anxiously awaited for a book to arrive in my mailbox. I love mail and I love books, so this is nothing new. But, the book I was waiting on was one that I knew I needed to read. The day I got it in the mail, I skimmed through all the pages and gazed at the pretty front cover. Suddenly, I knew this was going to be a hard book and reading it was going to come slowly. When I pre-orderd Uninvited, the first five chapters were sent to my e-mail and I immediately read chapters one through four. Then, I stopped. See, I have a hard time with follow through and finishing things. Especially when things tend to get hard. Y'all, this book is hard, and so, chapter five of Uninvited is still not read. Lysa TerKeurst not only writes timely books, but she is also the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries. Proverbs 31 does online bible studies, because "life can be crazy, but your Bible study doesn't have to be." I saw that their current study was going to be on Uninvited and I knew it was the push I needed to actually read this book. This is my first time doing an online bible study with Proverbs 31, but joining in and listening to what others are learning through this book has been so refreshing. We have only begun week 2, but already have I been challenged to dig deeper into the Word and be honest with myself and God about my feelings of loneliness and feeling left out. The challenge of 2 Corinthians 10:5 to "destroy arguments...take every thought captive to obey Christ" led me to think about lies and untruths that the enemy throws at me and replace them with truths and promises that God speaks over me. I've always thought that I'm better at giving advice than receiving it, but how can I properly encourage others to feel valued and believe they are seen and heard by God, if I first do not believe those things? So, here are some truths that I am telling myself when the enemy throws lies at me. Let us take captive every thought and imagination that is not from God and replace it with His words of truth. 6 Truths To RememberWhen you feel unworthy, know that you are valuable to Christ. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 When you feel alone, know that you are united with Christ. "My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one,Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." John 17:20-23 When you feel invisible, know that you are seen by God. "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:7-16 When you feel ignored, know that you are heard by God. "Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. For you, God, have heard my vows; you have give me the heritage of those who fear your name." Psalm 61:1-5 When you feel uninvited, know that you are wanted by God. "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9 When you feel defeated, know that you are victorious in Christ. "When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord,because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:54-58 Remember how I said that I never read chapter five of Uninvited? Well, guess what one of the two chapters we are reading this week in bible study is? Here's to getting better at follow through...and believing the advice I actually give to others. If you have seen Uninvited floating around and it is on your "to-read" list, I recommend getting it now. It's most definitely a book for those who feel less than, left out, and lonely. But, the moment you crack open the spine of this book, you will know that you are most definitely not alone in that walk. This isn't something to wait on for later, it's for right now. "May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 I was not asked to write this post, nor do I get anything for writing it. I just believe in this book. Plus, when you buy a book, you are helping to change the lives of women in India. So, go. Buy one, two, or more and start healing all the old rejections and start getting rid of lies and replacing them with truths.
Here, in photos, is what I've been up these past two-ish months that I've been gone from this place. And some thoughts on what I've been learning while I've been silent here. I'm not usually one to have a full calendar. My weekends are normally slow and uneventful, the majority of the time finds me cleaning my house and then sitting on the couch reading or watching something on Netflix. These past two months have looking nothing like that! July started with me celebrating my favorite holiday, then taking a trip to Memphis to see family and celebrate my Grandmother turning 88! I house-sat for some friends and enjoyed every moment of having a dog again -- even if for just two weeks! The start of August brought my best friend to visit me for a long weekend and she crashed a birthday party and a wedding with me while she was here. We even escaped to the beach for a day. And last weekend I got to reunite with some college friends as we celebrated one of our dear friends as a bride-to-be. Yet, with the hustle and bustle of life filling my calendar, my heart hasn't always been in it. Friends and laughter have surrounded me, but when they don't and it's just me in a room, I've had to fight off darkness. I've had to fight off the lonely. I've had to fight off the deafening silence. I've had to fight off the unknowing and the lost feeling. I've had to fight off the wandering that my soul is so, so prone to. Things haven't just been silent here, they have been silent in all areas of my life. Especially in my relationship with the Lord. I know that we are called to be still. To trust. To believe. To seek. To ask. Lately, I have just been questioning. Angrily questioning if I'm honest. I'm asking, yes, but not with a faithful heart. I've been questioning and asking God, "why?" about a lot of areas of my life. Why are things turning out a certain way? Why do I not have certain things? Why are these things happening? But, the "why" question that gets me the most is this: why am I still questioning when I have seen the provision, the guidance, the faithfulness, and the sovereignty of You, God? Why am I afraid to let my faith grow stronger? Why am I afraid to let You work in all areas of my life? Why do I keep replacing You with other fruitless and dead things? Why do I keep living like I'm dead when You have raised me to life? Why do I keep looking for joy in other things that are not from You? Lord, why do I keep questioning and asking why, when You have already given me the most sufficient Answer that I need? All I need, all the truth I seek, all the joy I desire, is found in You, by way of Your Son, and the power and presence of Your Holy Spirit. Let me hold on to that, Lord. "To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" John 8:31-32 I haven't read something so timely needed in my life as the article that I just read and have shared at the bottom of these thoughts. I had just finished reading about the birth of Samson in Judges 13 and then about the nameless woman that was Samson's mother. A companion study book, that my roommate brought home one day, profiles more than 400 women in the Bible, Manoah's wife, Samson's mother, being one of them. The author writes on how this woman was many things, including being a disappointed woman because of her barrenness. A privileged woman because she was visited by an angel of the Lord. She was a Godly woman because she was a humble Israelite and described as faithful, self-sacrificing, holy, and "must have had a life corresponding to the separated character of the son she was to bear..." She was a happy woman because her prayers were answered as Samson came to be. But, she was also a sorrowful woman because of the way her son turned out. I keep going back to what she was like as a Godly woman, because that is ultimately something that I strive to be. The author of this companion book points out that there is "no record of complaint or impatience over her childless state." In fact, I think she probably prayed a lot. Constantly, maybe. In return, "her prayer lightened the burden of her loneliness and sustained her patience. As a God-fearing Israelite, she had faith that He would answer her prayer." So much do I see myself in this nameless woman, of the desire to have something that is yet to be. Yet, where she was strong and faithful in her praying to God, believing that He would answer, I am weak and lacking. My prayers are more cries and tantrums during fits of anger and loneliness. My first thought is often not to pray, but to turn my face and walk away from the Lord. But, what a lesson to learn from this nameless woman on faith and prayer. Constant and faithful prayer, when combined with the belief that God will answer, is life-changing. This woman's praying "lightened the burden of her loneliness." Yes, she had the companionship of her husband, but her heart was now naturally desiring a child. And the lack of that, her barrenness, created a new feeling of loneliness that only a child was going to fill. Yet, she believed and had faith that God would answer, so her constant prayer "sustained her patience." We don't know how old she was, so we can't be sure of how long she had been fighting this loneliness of being barren or how long she had been waiting for a child after her marriage began. But, anyone who desires something so deeply within their heart and is living without it, whether that be a spouse, a new job, or a family, will probably tell you that even one day, is one day too many without it. The days kept passing and the nights still came. She was still without a child, but her patience only grew stronger because of her constant prayer and belief that God was hearing her. The moon would rise and the sun would set, but she never stopped believing that her prayer would go unheard. She must have believed that his mercies are new every day and that joy comes in the morning, because one day, many prayer-filled days later, her patience and faithfulness were rewarded. She had a son, Samson. And while her son lived a life that sometimes led him astray from the Lord and caused her sorrow, she knew he was her blessing, her answered prayer. And her story gives us an example that while God does indeed hear our prayers, the answers may not always turn out how we expect them to. But, no matter what the answer, we can expect the Lord to be glorified. I never thought much about marriage or having a family when I was a teenager or even in college really. It wasn't until I graduated and eventually became settled in a job that those two dreams, those prayers, started coming into the light. Small whispers of what the future could look like. But then, the loneliness hit. The loneliness of turning twenty-seven and watching your friends get married and start their families. Of watching your friends get pets together, take vacations, get promotions, and buy a house. Those small whispers became loud screams of anger and questioning why it wasn't my turn yet. What did I need to do? What did I need to change? Who did I need to be? On Manoah's wife and Samson's mother, the nameless woman, Herbert Lockyer said: "Barren though the nameless wife she was, she was yet believing." I need to pray. I need to throw away my unbelief that the Lord isn't hearing me. I need to be more like the faithful woman that Samson's mother was. I need my prayer to lighten my burden and strengthen my patience. I need to not let loneliness win. I need to stop pushing it away and acting like it isn't something I feel. I need to see that my singleness isn't something that needs fixing. I need to believe this article below. But most importantly, I need to believe that the Lord is good. That He hears my prayers. That His mercies are new every day. That joy comes in the morning. When I first went off to college, I knew a total of two people at The University of Alabama. Making friends seemed like the most daunting task and a part of me knew that the only way I would make friends was if the Lord directly put them in my path. I joined a church, got involved in their college ministry, and became a part of a Bible study. It was a small group, me and another freshman, and our two upperclassmen leaders. We were the smallest of all groups, a trend that would continue all of my years, even as I became a leader. But, those three girls came into my life at the most perfect and proper time. I would build a lot of memories with those girls, but especially with one of them in particular. She wasn't just my Bible study leader, but in a way my mentor and my confidant. She introduced me to The Office, fed my Mexican food addiction, sat with me in the corner of Barnes and Noble, and became a kid again whenever we found a playground. There were countless talks in parking lots, lots of cheering at football games, and numerous sleepovers. Where she was, I usually wasn't far behind. Where I was, she usually wasn't far behind. She was my best friend. I know that time changes, things change, and people change, but friendships can and do last through all of that. Ours however, didn't last. It wasn't necessarily because either of us changed, but we instead just stopped. For me, jealousy, fear, and pride got in the way. I could see our relationship slowly fading away, but instead of saying words to fight for it, I stayed quiet. Hard-headed, determined, and prideful I quit the friendship. Looking back, it seemed to happen suddenly. One day she was there and the next she wasn't. And just like that, six years went by. Six years of silence. There were many times in those six years that I thought about her. I knew that she was now married, had children, was happy. I had graduated college, moved away from home and then back again, and had gotten my first full-time job after college. Never did I get to celebrate any of it with her. The person I would have texted or called first in any situation, was lost somewhere in the silence of six years. She was walking her life and I was walking mine. During those six years, there were times I thought about reconnecting. I thought about sending a message to see how she was. To see if any form of friendship still remained, but I never did. I believed the lies that too much time had passed, that she was over it and had moved on, that it wasn't worth it. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to ask for. Oh, but friends, how sweet and necessary forgiveness is! I didn't want pride to be my pitfall. I wanted to choose peace instead of pride. So, after six years of silence, I decided to break it. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to ask for, but when you do, reconciliation comes. The longer the years pass, the harder it will be; but the outcome may be much sweeter than you ever realized. The words that were always so hard to find, the pain remembered every time you tried to write them, the memories that were had to relive; all those thoughts, all the feelings may just be mutual over there on the other side. You will only know if you are brave enough to say them. First to the Lord, then to yourself, and next to your friend. The dear, sweet friend that was always by your side. In the book Wild and Free, Hayley Morgan writes about how we have become caged by our own limitations. One of those limitations is being caught in the shame cycle. She tells the story of a friendship that withered away because she refused to forgive. A story that hit me way too close to home. She eventually confronted her friend and discovered that she had felt the same way! Forgiveness may not always look like this, but I'm so glad to say that for me and my friend it did. My friend expressed that she also had wanted to say something, but she was afraid it was too late and then didn't know what to say. Although this time comes six years later, I'm so thankful that it wasn't twelve years later or, sadly, never. And now, like Hayley and her friend, "we get to experience the gospel goodness of forgiveness; we get to be in fellowship with our Father and with each other; and we're both braver for the next time hurt or shame arises." Ignore the six year silence that has lived between you. Focus now on the words you want to say and where you want to begin again. Send the message, speak the words in faith; knowing you have bravely said what you wanted to say so many times before. Thank the Lord for giving you the courage, the boldness to speak in truth. And then, watch the Lord work His wonders. Watch Him mend the brokenness that seemed to crumble so easily. Experience firsthand the power of forgiveness. Watch the silence of six years slowly be filled with words of healing. Watch a sweet friendship slowly come back into view. Taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8) and experience again how a friendship refreshes the soul(Proverbs 27:9). Whether you're the one who needs forgiving or you're holding back your forgiveness from someone else, you need to bring that junk into the light. If you need forgiveness from someone, go and ask them. Bring yourself low and step into the light, knowing that Jesus is right there with you. Confess your yuck and ask forgiveness for the sin you committed and for the pain you caused. There is nothing like the freedom that comes from confession and repentance. -- Hayley Morgan, Wild and Free Do you like confrontation or is that something you run away from? Have you ever let a relationship drift away, because pride or fear held you back? Fear is not found in love. But, there is freedom in forgiveness. I pray that if you are searching for that, you will find it. Follow Me :)
"Lord, soften my heart." That's the prayer that I always whisper on February 14th. And I repeat it often throughout the day, because I hate that day. Honestly, I do. It's the one day I hate. I hate it because the enemy uses that day greatly against me.
Yesterday I woke up eager to spend the day at church. I had some small Valentines for my two-year olds, I was excited for worship, excited to see friends, eager to hear the message. And then I got on Facebook. Mistake number one. Flowers here, couple picture there, engagement countdown, cute kids in reds and pinks. Then I went to Instagram. Mistake number two. Same thing. Twitter came third and so did mistake number three. Same thing, just 140 or less characters. Immediately I just wanted to throw my phone and slip down under the covers again. "I hate this day," I muttered to myself. My heart starting to harden.
I made it to church, red lipstick and red necklace completing my outfit for the day. Because maybe that would help mask the hardness that was growing in my heart. I was the opposite of the Grinch, instead of my heart growing three sizes, it shrunk that many and more, growing harder with each shrink. Rowdy kids in Sunday school, sticker massacre on the floor, and little tantrums all began adding on to my growing frustration. "I hate this day," I said to myself. My heart growing harder. After making it through Sunday school, I walked against the crowd into service. I found my roommate and flung myself down, flustered and relieved to be done with kids for the day. Maybe I could finally start to enjoy the day. But it was too late.
The mutterings of hating the day, the whispers screamed by the enemy, the hardening of my heart. It had all worked. The foothold of the devil was great and he was about to ring the victory bell. I sang songs through gritted teeth, clasped my hands tightly together essentially in fists. My heart wasn't just hard, now I was angry. Angry that this day that I hated had to fall on the Sabbath. Angry that I was alone. Angry that I was allowing myself to believe the lies of the devil. Angry that instead of surrendering my thoughts and my sin to the Lord, I was choosing to hold on to it. I was just angry. I wanted to fight. I wanted to leave. I hated this day and just wanted to be back in my bed.
And then Pastor got up and said he was there to speak the Gospel. Because it was something we needed to hear. It was something I needed to hear. And in my anger, I didn't walk out. I sat down and said to myself, "Lord, soften my heart."
I sat and I fought through my feelings. I fought back against anger. I fought back tears. I fought back resentment.
I sat and I listened. I listened to love being spoken. I listened to reminders that I was choosing to ignore. I listened to truth. I whispered, "Lord, soften my heart." And he answered back with love. I was reminded of a love so great, so beautiful, so strong. That a man, perfect in every way, was given to me by my Heavenly Father to die for me. I was reminded of a love so great, so beautiful, so strong. That death and a grave, couldn't stop that love. I was reminded of a love that I was made for. I was reminded of a love that sets me free from every sin. I was reminded of a love that restores everything and brings back everything that was lost. I was reminded of a love that fulfills every longing of my heart and gives me a hope and a future wrapped in eternity. A future that is real, that is personal, that is certain. A future that is unimaginably wonderful. My song of anger began to change. "Lord, soften my heart." Erase the lies of the enemy. Let those whispers be drowned out with cries of rejoicing! Lord, I pray that I won't hate the day. May I sing with open hands to you and with a smile on my face. Lord, soften my heart. Let this love that is great, beautiful, and strong always be real to me. May I always listen to the songs of love being sung over me and not the whispers and mutterings of hating the day. Let the hardness on my heart fall away and let love fill those places. "Lord, soften my heart."
I pray that you didn't spend yesterday in anger. But, if you did, may you whisper the prayer of "Lord, soften my heart." I pray that the love so great, so beautiful, so strong that even death and a grave couldn't contain, will replace the hard places in your heart. I pray that the whispers of the enemy be replaced with cries of rejoicing. I pray that we love the day.
Follow Me :)
If you enjoyed this post and know someone else that would enjoy it, share it by clicking below.
|
Welcome!ConnectGet the Guide!Sign up below to join the community and get your FREE devotional guide!
Categories
All
FavoritesInstagram
|